I don’t really know where to start so I guess I’ll just dive right in…
Remember when I wrote this post about my weight loss goals and how I said I was going to blog daily about how things were going? Yea, it seems like an eternity ago and just incase you hadn’t noticed the obvious I have not been blogging daily about it.
The reason is because truthfully, the things are not going well and I can’t figure out why.
I want this so bad, and I can visualize where I want to be in a year, but none of that matters because I am not taking the steps I need to take in order to make these goals a reality.
I know what I need to do and I have the knowledge and tools to make it happen but it’s not.
I think back to the times in my life when I was successful at losing weight and getting fit and it makes me wonder why it seems so hard this time around. The things I did before don’t seem to be working this time around.
I seriously need a swift kick, or 10, in the butt and I just can’t seem to do it to myself. It frustrates me to the point where I just don’t even want to think about it anymore.
I don’t know what the answer is but I know I need to find it.
It’s not that I’m making terrible choices, and I’m trying to fit in activity daily, but I know I have to buckle down and really commit or nothing is going to happen. I need to stop making excuses as to why I can wait one more day to really get serious.
I can start this without my new running shoes and the new book that are en route. Nothing significant is going to happen once these items are in my hands so why wait?
I need to stop waiting for the proverbial Monday to arrive because it’s not going to. Not now and not ever.
Maybe writing this will give me the kick in the butt I need. I can hope it will but hoping is not the same as doing. I need to stop wishing that things will change and take the steps to make them change.
I feel a lot of pressure to lose the baby weight. Pressure from society and pressure from myself. Pressure that is almost too much to handle at times. I don’t know why some new moms feel this way because the logical side of me knows that I didn’t put the weight on overnight so I can’t expect to lose it overnight. But in a world where it seems like some people can do just that it makes it harder on the rest of us.
I need to remember that my beginning is not the same as someone elses. My end goal might be someone elses starting off point. It doesn’t make my journey any more, or any less, significant it just makes it something different.
It makes it my own.
I need to stop focusing on the big picture. I need to remember what I said I was going to do and that’s to take it one day at a time. I need to make the time to go for a run even if I have to go alone. I need to start opening up more about my struggles and not try to make this blog all sunshine and roses. Life is not like that. Yes, I still want to have fun with my blog but I can’t be afraid to express myself. I can’t let the fact that just because I have IRL friends and family who read my blog stop me from opening up. Yes, it’s scary to know that people close to me will read some of this but I can’t let that hold me back from doing something that is going to help me in the long run.
I am grateful for this community and only ask for your support, advice, and maybe the occasional kick in the butt.
I still don’t know what the next step is but I will continue to search for it all while drinking my water and hitting the pavement whenever I can.