Where do I go from here?

I don’t really know where to start so I guess I’ll just dive right in…

Remember when I wrote this post about my weight loss goals and how I said I was going to blog daily about how things were going? Yea, it seems like an eternity ago and just incase you hadn’t noticed the obvious I have not been blogging daily about it.

The reason is because truthfully, the things are not going well and I can’t figure out why.

I want this so bad, and I can visualize where I want to be in a year, but none of that matters because I am not taking the steps I need to take in order to make these goals a reality.

I know what I need to do and I have the knowledge and tools to make it happen but it’s not.

I think back to the times in my life when I was successful at losing weight and getting fit and it makes me wonder why it seems so hard this time around. The things I did before don’t seem to be working this time around.

I seriously need a swift kick, or 10, in the butt and I just can’t seem to do it to myself. It frustrates me to the point where I just don’t even want to think about it anymore.

I don’t know what the answer is but I know I need to find it.

It’s not that I’m making terrible choices, and I’m trying to fit in activity daily, but I know I have to buckle down and really commit or nothing is going to happen. I need to stop making excuses as to why I can wait one more day to really get serious.

I can start this without my new running shoes and the new book that are en route. Nothing significant is going to happen once these items are in my hands so why wait?

I need to stop waiting for the proverbial Monday to arrive because it’s not going to. Not now and not ever.

Maybe writing this will give me the kick in the butt I need. I can hope it will but hoping is not the same as doing. I need to stop wishing that things will change and take the steps to make them change.

I feel a lot of pressure to lose the baby weight. Pressure from society and pressure from myself. Pressure that is almost too much to handle at times. I don’t know why some new moms feel this way because the logical side of me knows that I didn’t put the weight on overnight so I can’t expect to lose it overnight. But in a world where it seems like some people can do just that it makes it harder on the rest of us.

I need to remember that my beginning is not the same as someone elses. My end goal might be someone elses starting off point. It doesn’t make my journey any more, or any less, significant it just makes it something different.

It makes it my own.

I need to stop focusing on the big picture. I need to remember what I said I was going to do and that’s to take it one day at a time. I need to make the time to go for a run even if I have to go alone. I need to start opening up more about my struggles and not try to make this blog all sunshine and roses. Life is not like that. Yes, I still want to have fun with my blog but I can’t be afraid to express myself. I can’t let the fact that just because I have IRL friends and family who read my blog stop me from opening up. Yes, it’s scary to know that people close to me will read some of this but I can’t let that hold me back from doing something that is going to help me in the long run.

I am grateful for this community and only ask for your support, advice, and maybe the occasional kick in the butt.

I still don’t know what the next step is but I will continue to search for it all while drinking my water and hitting the pavement whenever I can.

Comments

  1. Take the running pressure off yourself and maybe try something different like a class or dance session or powerwalk. Ask yourself what’s the least you can commit to today (such as 1 mile or 10 minutes or up and down stairs). Give yourself something achievable to get started and forget about completing a “whole workout.” And is the workout fun at all? If not, maybe try out new modes/ activities. Tush push time! You can do it! KymberlyFunFit

  2. DAMN THAT KYMBERLY is wise.
    all I know is I just keep moving forward…..even when I have zero idea where IM heading

    xo

  3. Sending support girly! You’ll figure this out!

  4. You will find what works for you. Maybe it’s running. Maybe it’s not. Hang in there and as long as you don’t give up your steps ahead of many.

    [Fitness, Health and Happiness]

    • Running is not the issue. I still love running and think I would be even more lost without it. But you’re right, as long as I’m doing something it’s still more than most people :)

  5. Do what you enjoy best without putting any pressure on yourself! Just go with it and enjoy every step of the way! This is also a learning journey. Every day is new day to move forward and try out new things (for the first or 100th time!) You got this! Keep you head up high :)

  6. elizabeth hicks says:

    LOVE YOU SWEETIE MOM

  7. I hate giving advice because I am always trying to figure out my own journey, but I agree with everyone above. Try & find something you like and stick with it. Just take it one day at a time. You can’t change what you did yesterday and you can’t predict what tomorrow will bring. Hang in there! :)

  8. I’m calling bullshit on the “I don’t know what the next step is”…

    Yes you do. You just said it in your blog post: “I need to stop focusing on the big picture. I need to remember what I said I was going to do and that’s to take it one day at a time. I need to make the time to go for a run even if I have to go alone. I need to start opening up more about my struggles and not try to make this blog all sunshine and roses. Life is not like that. Yes, I still want to have fun with my blog but I can’t be afraid to express myself. I can’t let the fact that just because I have IRL friends and family who read my blog stop me from opening up. Yes, it’s scary to know that people close to me will read some of this but I can’t let that hold me back from doing something that is going to help me in the long run.”

    What are you holding back Jenny? This is your blog and whether family and real life friends read it doesn’t matter.

  9. I just wanted to chime in and offer some moral support. i think we all struggle from time to time and I also know, that for me, dwelling on it and over thinking it makes it worse!

    Be nice to yourself. Enjoy the running and other acitivities and your family. Drink your water. Eat real food. Eat when you are hungry, Listen to your body.

    Simple but these things really make a difference and they are not complicated.

    I wish you well!

  10. So much of this feels like exactly where I am right now. I keep re-reading your post and going “Jenny – get outta my head!” I know all of the things I need to do, and I know I need to break it down into smaller steps and I know its the food that is the bigger issue for me. I keep setting myself up for disappointment by feeling defeated that weight has come back on since the accident instead of seeing that I’ve only gained 30lbs since the accident and haven’t been gaining so much more. *sigh* if only we could get out of our own way! So much love and belief in you!

  11. You will definitely find what works for you! Take little steps at a time but the important thing is to start. Once you start and get in the habit, it will be a lot easier!

  12. courtnorm323 says:

    Man, I feel like I could have written this post myself. I’ve lost a decent amount of weight, but I have so much more to lose. Obviously I “know” what to do but I need to do it. Sometimes I just feel so mentally exhausted… Tired of talking myself into a workout or out of dessert. Sometimes I don’t want to have to worry about calories in or out, I just want to be. However, not focusing on that led me to gain a few pounds back. I need to get that drive and motivation back and just run with it!

  13. You can do this! Maybe it is the pressure keeping you from beginning? Think about why you want to do this – the reason that are about you and your family, not about pressure from others or what you think others expect of you. Lots of positive thoughts your way!!!

  14. The pressure to lose the baby weight can be so frustrating. There’s so much undue pressure and like you said, you didn’t put on the weight in 2 days so why the expectation to lose it in two days?

    I feel like I’m in a similar spot. I’ve been sick for a couple of weeks so just let things slide – eating and exercising. I know in my head what I need to do and I keep saying, “starting tomorrow…” But I’ve been trying to focus from meal to meal and day to day. I’m trying to commit to one thing a day – 10-20 minutes exercising or eating a salad – something that I know that I can achieve. I know that once I start down the path, it will be easier to maintain. It’s just the starting that’s hard.

    Hang in there!!

  15. You got this! I think it’s only human for everyone to be at this point at some moment in their journey. I think the key is finding what moves YOU to keep kicking butt. Because its definitely not the same for everyone. Keep at it lady!
    Hoping over from Link Love and sharing love to a fellow FFA.
    E
    adventureofe.blogspot.com

  16. I feel for ya Jenny…remember I wrote you about the “program” I was, I’m saying was because I have to restart, on & how great it is. Well I did the first part with complete intent on following through with the next phase, I did one exercise program, then went away to visit family & put the “program” on the back burner, then life happend and I let it slide…it’s now been over 19 days since that happend …like you I need to get my head out of looking too far ahead…I wish I lived closer we could support each other in the journey!! Good luck my friend, one day it will just click & you’ll have your “ah ha” moment…I’m still on the I’m going to “start tomorrow”…just waiting for tomorrow to happen…

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